The Guilt of Feeling Okay—When Moments of Peace Feel Like Betrayal
I am so tired. Not just the kind of tired that sleep can fix, but the kind that lives deep in my bones. The kind that makes even the simplest things—getting out of bed, making a meal, answering a text—feel like climbing a mountain with no end in sight.
Table of Contents
- Grief is exhausting
- The Hidden Toll of Grief
- Learning Tools: Easing the Exhaustion of Grief
- 1. The “Bare Minimum” Rule
- 2. The 10-Second Check-In
- 3. The Permission to Rest Letter
- Guided Meditation: Releasing the Weight of Grief
Grief is exhausting
It takes more energy than people realize. It’s not just sadness—it’s a constant, silent battle happening inside me every moment of the day. My mind is always spinning, replaying memories, whispering regrets, fighting against the reality I never wanted to accept. And my body? It feels like it’s carrying extra weight, a heaviness that doesn’t go away, no matter how much I rest. Some days, even breathing feels like work.
The Hidden Toll of Grief
People think grief is just emotional, but it’s physical too. It affects everything—my sleep, my appetite, my ability to focus.
I wake up exhausted, even if I slept.
I forget to eat, or I eat without tasting anything.
I start sentences and forget what I was saying.
I walk into rooms and don’t remember why I’m there.
I am here, but I don’t feel here.
And the world keeps moving, expecting me to keep up. But I can’t. Not the way I used to.
Some people tell me to “take care of myself,” but they don’t understand that even self-care feels
like another thing on my to-do list.
How do you take care of yourself when you don’t even have the energy to exist?
Giving Myself Permission to Rest
Maybe I don’t have to do everything.
Maybe healing isn’t about forcing myself to function like I used to.
Maybe right now, the most loving thing I can do is honor the fact that grief is work—and that it’s okay to be tired.
I don’t need to prove my strength. I don’t need to pretend I’m okay.
I just need to give myself grace.
Learning Tools: Easing the Exhaustion of Grief
When grief drains your energy, even the smallest tasks feel overwhelming. These tools are designed to help you move through exhaustion with kindness rather than frustration.
1. The “Bare Minimum” Rule
Instead of pressuring yourself to do everything, focus on the bare minimum.
Ask yourself: What is one small thing I can do for myself today?
Drink a glass of water.
Step outside for a few breaths of fresh air.
Sit in the sunlight for five minutes.
This is not about productivity. It’s about gentle survival.
2. The 10-Second Check-In
When exhaustion feels unbearable, place a hand on your heart and ask:
What do I need in this moment?
Can I allow myself to rest without guilt?
What would I tell a friend who felt this way?
Sometimes, just acknowledging your exhaustion is enough to soften its grip.
3. The Permission to Rest Letter
Write yourself a short letter as if you were speaking to a dear friend.
Example:
“You are doing the best you can. You don’t have to do everything today. It’s okay to rest. You are not failing. You are grieving, and that is work enough.”
Read this letter whenever guilt creeps in. Let it remind you that rest is not weakness—it is part of healing.
Guided Meditation: Releasing the Weight of Grief
Find a quiet place. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath.
Imagine yourself carrying a heavy backpack. It is filled with the weight of grief, exhaustion, and expectations.
Feel how heavy it is. Notice how it pulls at your shoulders, how it makes each step harder.
Now, picture yourself standing in a peaceful meadow. The air is soft, the earth steady beneath your feet.
Slowly, gently, you take off the backpack. You set it down. You breathe.
The weight is still there—but for this moment, you are allowed to rest.
Whisper to yourself:
“I do not have to carry everything at once.”
“It is okay to be tired.”
“I give myself permission to rest.”
Stay in this space as long as you need. Let your breath be soft, your body light.
When you are ready, take a deep breath, gently open your eyes, and return to the present moment.
Grief is heavy. But you don’t have to carry it all at once. Rest when you need to. You are allowed.
Created By: Bethany Orrick
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