When the Grief is Too Much—Learning to Take a Break from the Pain
Some days, grief is everywhere.
It’s in the air I breathe, in the spaces where my child used to be, in the echoes of their absence.
It follows me, clings to me, makes everything heavy.
I try to move through it, to honor it, to sit with it as I’ve learned to do. But some days, it’s just too much.
The world feels too loud. My own thoughts feel too heavy. And I find myself wanting to escape—not because I don’t love my child, but because my heart needs a break from the weight of it all.
And then the guilt sets in.
Because how can I want a break from my grief when my grief is part of my love for them?
Table of Contents
- The Need for Rest in Grief
- Giving Myself Permission to Rest
- Learning Tools: Taking a Gentle Break from Grief
- 1. The “Permission to Pause” Exercise
- 2. The “Grief-Free Space” Practice
- 3. The “Joy Without Guilt” Affirmation
- Guided Meditation: Finding Rest in Love
The Need for Rest in Grief
People don’t often talk about the exhaustion of grief.
It’s not just emotional—it’s physical, mental, spiritual. Carrying this weight day after day takes a toll. It drains me, leaving me feeling empty and worn.
But taking a break feels like a betrayal.
Because grief is all I have left of them, and if I set it down, even for a moment, it feels like I am setting them down too.
But deep down, I know that isn’t true.
I know that love does not disappear if I rest. I know that my child would not want me to live in a state of constant pain. I know that it is okay to step away from the grief without letting go of the love.
Giving Myself Permission to Rest
Maybe healing isn’t about holding grief all the time.
Maybe healing is about finding moments of peace, of lightness, of breathing.
Maybe it is okay to watch a movie, to laugh, to take a walk without the weight of grief on my shoulders.
Maybe it is not about abandoning my grief but about giving my heart the space it needs to heal.
And maybe, in those moments of rest, love has the chance to shine through the cracks.
Learning Tools: Taking a Gentle Break from Grief
It’s okay to set your grief down for a moment. These tools will help you find rest and lightness without feeling like you are letting go of your love.
1. The “Permission to Pause” Exercise
Find a quiet space and take a deep breath.
Say to yourself:
“I give myself permission to rest.”
“I can take a break from grief without letting go of love.”
“I honor my heart by giving it space to breathe.”
Repeat this as needed, allowing yourself to soften into the truth that rest is not a betrayal.
2. The “Grief-Free Space” Practice
Create a small area in your home where you allow yourself to rest without grief.
It could be a cozy chair, a sunlit corner, or a blanket fort.
Bring comforting items—soft blankets, a favorite book, a soothing candle.
When the weight of grief feels too heavy, retreat to this space. Let it be a sanctuary of lightness, a reminder that it is okay to take a break.
3. The “Joy Without Guilt” Affirmation
When you find yourself enjoying a moment without grief, place a hand on your heart and say:
“I am allowed to feel joy.”
“My love remains, even in lightness.”
“I am honoring my child by choosing to live fully.”
Guided Meditation: Finding Rest in Love
Find a quiet place. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Imagine yourself standing at the edge of a serene lake. The water is calm, reflecting the soft light of the sky. In your hands, you hold a small stone—this stone carries your grief, your exhaustion, your heaviness. Slowly, gently, you set the stone down by the water’s edge. You do not throw it away; you simply let it rest. You step into the lake, feeling the cool water wrap around you. It is not cold or harsh—it is gentle, supportive, offering you a place to breathe.
You whisper to yourself:
“I am allowed to rest.”
“I do not have to carry everything at once.”
“My love remains, even when I set the weight down.”
Stay in this space as long as you need. Let yourself float, let yourself breathe, let yourself rest.
When you are ready, take a deep breath, gently open your eyes, and return to the present moment.
You are not leaving your grief behind. You are simply giving your heart a moment to breathe.
And that is healing, too.
Created By: Bethany Orrick
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